Inspirational/ Motivational, Mind

Become Who You Were Born to Be: We All Have a Gift. . . . Have You Discovered Yours?

Become Who You Were Born to Be: We All Have a Gift. . . . Have You Discovered Yours? - Brian Souza
Become Who You Were Born to Be: We All Have a Gift. . . . Have You Discovered Yours? – Brian Souza

I always felt inside that I had a gift.  That there was something so much bigger that I was here for.   That I had a purpose.   That every single thing that happened to me happened to me for a reason.  That I was to learn from my experiences for this ultimate purpose.    Today I feel I have found it.

That is amazing to me because life can be so hard sometimes.   You ask yourself “why me?”  I am here to tell you that if you can see past the pain and the hardship that there is a buried treasure just waiting for you to see.   That you are more than what you are going through today.

I remember growing up in a one bedroom apartment with my mom, dad and sister.   One bedroom.   It was so hard to share a room with my parents.   I had no privacy.  No place to cry alone or even a place to study alone.   My sister and I celebrated when I was 17 years old when I finally got my own room.   My own room meant the world to me.

My room allowed me to study in peace.   I became a book worm.    I loved to study and learn.   Psychology was my passion.  I loved it!   I could not get enough of self help books.   They were my escape.

I remember in high school when I took a college now class on Psychology 101 and actually got an award.   Now why did I not study Psychology?  As much as I loved it, I felt I would go crazy if I studied it.   I decided to go to college and take what my sister took.   Fashion.  Yes Fashion!

I took fashion and I was miserable.   I was in a class with students that loved to talk about textiles and all i wanted to study was the human brain.    I was a C student.

In my first quarter in college I was in a group dynamics class where I was the leader and I had to decide on the topic for the group.   I was actually going to the Dominican Republic with my dad on a trip and I decided to get a couple of books from the library on how to choose a career based on your personality.    Since I was in fashion and didn’t feel it was a good fit, I decided to learn about what I was experiencing.

I studied Myer Briggs Personality Types.   I studied how important it is to wake up in the morning and love what you do.   After my research and talking to my dad about how unhappy I was with fashion, I decided to not go into Psychology but instead to do Marketing which is more Psychology and Business intertwined in my opinion.   Consumer behavior.

I became a straight A student in Marketing.   I realized then that loving the subject you study is critical to your success.

So after a few years of working, I ended up reading this book.   This book reinforced what I had learned in college.    It talks about the most successful people and how by them following their passion they became successful.   We all have passions.   The difference is that some people focus on what they love and some ignore what they love.

This book will help you re-focus on your true purpose.   What you love.

I truly believe that if you are reading this it is for a reason.   That however it is that I met you that at this very moment you were meant to read this.   Crazy as it may be for me or you.

This book made me pay attention to my true gifts.   I recommend this book to anyone that feels stuck.   I guarantee it doesn’t happen right away.   Happiness does not happen overnight.   It takes work.  It takes determination.  It takes struggle.

When you want something so bad.  You will make it happen.   There are no excuses.

It took me forever to even get to write this.  I read like a thousand books for me to break free and numerous mentors.    It took work.   A lot of work.  Self doubt.  Insecurities.  You name it.

-Rosemary


“Do you ever feel burned out, beat up, or just plain bored, wondering, “Is this all there is?” Do you ever feel trapped in a stressful job that leaves you unhappy and unsatisfied? Do you ever question if you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing—if you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose? If so, you are not alone.

Like millions of Americans, Brian Souza found himself in this precarious position a few years back. Despite attending dozens of motivational seminars and devouring the best the self-help industry had to offer, Souza was left wanting more. The turning point came when he finally realized it wasn’t artificial motivation he was after; he was really searching for a legitimate reason to be motivated. Thousands of hours of research and countless interviews later, Souza finally uncovered the secrets he was looking for all along:

Just as musicians must make music, poets must write, and artists must paint, we all have a unique gift designed for a specific vocation that will bring both meaning and purpose to our lives. True joy and happiness will continue to elude us until we use that gift to become who we were born to be.

Become Who You Were Born to Be is a blueprint for discovering your unique gift and using it to realize your personal and professional potential. Souza’s program for achieving success in all areas of life reveals:

• Four steps to discovering your gift, uncovering your passion, and unlocking your purpose
• How to overcome fears and deal with change
• How to work passion into your profession
• Why a midlife crisis should be celebrated
• How to stop stressing and start living
• How to diagnose and fix flawed life patterns
• The untold secrets of top achievers

To illustrate his life-changing philosophy, Souza relates true stories of everyday people and world-famous celebrities—including Lance Armstrong, Amy Tan, Sylvester Stallone, Garth Brooks, and Oprah Winfrey—who became heroes by overcoming adversity and squeezing every ounce of opportunity from their gifts.” (amazon.com)

Become Who You Were Born to Be: We All Have a Gift. . . . Have You Discovered Yours?

Originally posted 2016-10-24 08:25:57.

Quotes, Videos

Steve Jobs Stanford
Commencement Speech 2005
Connecting the Dots
Love and Loss
Death

This video is a must watch.   You see, sometimes in life we have no idea why we are put in situations or why we learn what we learn.   We sometimes go through a painful situation and don’t realize that that very painful situation has taught us a lesson we will never forget.   It’s amazing that by us connecting the dots we realize that it wasn’t by accident.    We may not be able to see it at the very moment we are experiencing the pain but as Steve Jobs said “You connect the dots looking backwards”.

When you think of Steve Jobs, you may have thought of this very successful rich man but when you heard him speak, you realized that he was human just like everyone of us.    Even his biological mom decided to give him up so that he would have college graduate parents yet life has a funny way of working itself out by giving him parents that did not graduate from college and high school.    The lawyer parents his mom thought he was going to have decided they wanted a girl last minute.    How all of this would have changed everything.

Connecting the Dots – sometimes we don’t realize how things will come together.   You connect the dots looking backwards.    Trust the process.

Love and Loss – Loving what you do and losing it.   Starting over is okay.    Rejection sometimes teaches you what you cannot learn if you are always successful.   Even if you are successful, failure or rejection can make you even better than you were before.   You just can’t quit.

Death – living as if everyday is your last and questioning if you are happy or doing what you love will keep you focused.

-Rosemary

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinion drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. -Steve Jobs
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.   Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice.   And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. -Steve Jobs

 

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish -Steve Jobs
Stay Hungry Stay Foolish -Steve Jobs

 

Originally posted 2016-10-24 08:25:28.

Quotes

The hardest prison to escape is in your mind

The hardest prison to escape is in your mind
The hardest prison to escape is in your mind

Do you live in your head? A lot of people do.  It’s time to work on your strategy to escape the prison of your mind.  It will take work.  It will take determination and you will get angry and frustrated because the bars are made of steel but you got this.  Figure it out!  You will think your not good enough at times and self sabotage but its all in your mind.  You can do whatever you focus on.  Escape and reclaim you life and soul.

Originally posted 2016-06-04 16:28:22.

Mind

The Dance Between
Codependents & Narcissists

The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists | World of Psychology

The inherently dysfunctional “codependency dance” requires two opposite but distinctly balanced partners: the pleaser/fixer (codependent) and the taker/controller (narcissist/addict). Codependents – who are giving, sacrificing, and consumed with the needs and desires of others – do not know how to emotionally disconnect or avoid romantic relationships with individuals who are narcissistic – individuals who are selfish, self-centered, controlling, and harmful to them.

“The inherently dysfunctional “codependency dance” requires two opposite but distinctly balanced partners: the pleaser/fixer (codependent) and the taker/controller (narcissist/addict).

Codependents — who are giving, sacrificing, and consumed with the needs and desires of others — do not know how to emotionally disconnect or avoid romantic relationships with individuals who are narcissistic — individuals who are selfish, self-centered, controlling, and harmful to them. Codependents habitually find themselves on a “dance floor” attracted to partners who are a perfect counter-match to their uniquely passive, submissive and acquiescent dance style.

As natural followers in their relationship dance, codependents are passive and accommodating dance partners. So how can they stop being such natural followers?

Codependents find narcissistic dance partners deeply appealing. They are perpetually attracted to their charm, boldness, confidence and domineering personality.

When codependents and narcissists pair up, the dancing experience sizzles with excitement — at least in the beginning. After many “songs,” the enthralling and thrilling dance experience predictably transforms into drama, conflict, feelings of neglect and being trapped. Even with chaos and conflict, neither of the two spellbound dancers dares to end their partnership. Despite the tumultuous and conflict-laden nature of their relationship, neither of these two opposite, but dysfunctionally compatible, dance partners feel compelled to sit the dance out.

When a codependent and narcissist come together in their relationship, their dance unfolds flawlessly: The narcissistic partner maintains the lead and the codependent follows. Their roles seem natural to them because they have actually been practicing them their whole lives. The codependent reflexively gives up their power; since the narcissist thrives on control and power, the dance is perfectly coordinated. No one gets their toes stepped on.

Typically, codependents give of themselves much more than their partners give back to them. As generous — but bitter — dance partners, they seem to be stuck on the dance floor, always waiting for the next song, at which time they naively hope that their narcissistic partner will finally understand their needs.

Codependents confuse caretaking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering dedication to the person they love, they end up feeling unappreciated and used. Codependents yearn to be loved, but because of their choice of dance partner, find their dreams unrealized. With the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams, codependents silently and bitterly swallow their unhappiness.

Codependents are essentially stuck in a pattern of giving and sacrificing, without the possibility of ever receiving the same from their partner. They pretend to enjoy the dance, but really harbor feelings of anger, bitterness, and sadness for not taking an active role in their dance experience. They are convinced that they will never find a dance partner who will love them for who they are, as opposed to what they can do for them. Their low self-esteem and pessimism manifests itself into a form of learned helplessness that ultimately keeps them on the dance floor with their narcissistic partner.

The narcissist dancer, like the codependent, is attracted to a partner who feels perfect to them: Someone who lets them lead the dance while making them feel powerful, competent and appreciated. In other words, the narcissist feels most comfortable with a dancing companion who matches up with their self-absorbed and boldly selfish dance style. Narcissist dancers are able to maintain the direction of the dance because they always find partners who lack self-worth, confidence and who have low self-esteem — codependents. With such a well-matched companion, they are able to control both the dancer and the dance.

Although all codependent dancers desire harmony and balance, they consistently sabotage themselves by choosing a partner to whom they are initially attracted, but will ultimately resent. When given a chance to stop dancing with their narcissistic partner and comfortably sit the dance out until someone healthy comes along, they typically choose to continue their dysfunctional dance. They dare not leave their narcissistic dance partner because their lack of self-esteem and self-respect makes them feel like they can do no better. Being alone is the equivalent of feeling lonely, and loneliness is too painful to bear.

Without self-esteem or feelings of personal power, the codependent is incapable of choosing mutually giving and unconditionally loving partners. Their choice of a narcissistic dance partner is connected to their unconscious motivation to find a person who is familiar — someone who is reminiscent of their powerless and, perhaps, traumatic childhood. Sadly, codependents are most likely children of parents who also flawlessly danced the dysfunctional codependent/narcissistic dance. Their fear of being alone, their compulsion to control and fix at any cost, and their comfort in their role as the martyr who is endlessly loving, devoted, and patient, is an extension of their yearning to be loved, respected, and cared for as a child.

Although codependents dream of dancing with an unconditionally loving and affirming partner, they submit to their dysfunctional destiny. Until they decide to heal the psychological wounds that ultimately compel them to dance with their narcissistic dance partners, they will be destined to maintain the steady beat and rhythm of their dysfunctional dance.”

 

Originally posted 2016-10-22 10:36:13.

Business

How I Study…

One technique I use when I need to study is that I re-write whatever I need to absorb.   Many people have trouble retaining the information so by doing this I am mentally recording what I am trying to learn.

Also, what I like doing is transcribing from a video or audio to really listen to what is being said.  This allows me to pick up on things that I normally do not pick up on when I listen to something naturally.

-Rosemary

Originally posted 2017-03-09 21:12:47.

Mind

The New Codependency – Melody Beattie

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“In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.

The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It’s about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated.

Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior — caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc. — enabling us to personalize our own step-bystep guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.

Punctuated with Beattie’s renowned candor and intuitive wisdom, The New Codependency is an owner’s manual to learning to be who we are and gives us the tools necessary to reclaim our lives by renouncing unhealthy practices.” (amazon.com)

Originally posted 2016-10-22 10:31:46.

Mind

Co-Dependency

Co-Dependency

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

 

 

“Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

  • An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
  • A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
  • A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
  • A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
  • An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
  • An extreme need for approval and recognition
  • A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
  • A compelling need to control others
  • Lack of trust in self and/or others
  • Fear of being abandoned or alone
  • Difficulty identifying feelings
  • Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
  • Problems with intimacy/boundaries
  • Chronic anger
  • Lying/dishonesty
  • Poor communications
  • Difficulty making decisions”

Originally posted 2016-10-21 20:13:25.