Browse Category by Mind
Mind

Fragmented Child: Disorganized
Attachment and Dissociation
by Robert T Muller Ph.D.

Fragmented Child: Disorganized Attachment and Dissociation

Dissociation is a phenomenon most people have the capacity to experience. It is a coping mechanism used to manage stressors as minor as over-stimulation or as severe as sexual abuse. As a way of coping, dissociation occurs when the brain compartmentalizes traumatic experiences to keep people from feeling too much pain, be it physical, emotional, or both.

Originally posted 2016-11-20 09:00:56.

Mind

Running Through Trauma
by Katrina Anderson

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-guest-room/201603/running-through-trauma

Originally posted 2016-11-20 08:48:23.

Mind

Trauma and the Freeze Response: Good, Bad, or Both? by Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

Trauma and the Freeze Response: Good, Bad, or Both?

Almost everyone is familiar with the fight-flight response-your reaction to a stimulus perceived as an imminent threat to your survival. However, less well-known is the fight-flight-freeze response, which adds a crucial dimension to how you’re likely to react when the situation confronting you overwhelms your coping capacities and leaves you paralyzed in fear.

Originally posted 2016-11-20 08:31:55.

Mind

Ramifications of Incest

Ramifications of Incest

Few subjects in psychiatry elicit more profound, visceral, and polarized reactions than incest-the occurrence of sexual behaviors between closely related individuals-behaviors that violate society’s most sacred and guarded taboos.

“Sgroi and colleagues15 have described a 5-stage process in the sexual mistreatment of children.

In stage 1, engagement, the child is brought into a more intense relationship with the perpetrator. He or she becomes involved in more intense and gradually sexualized behaviors via special attention that engages the child’s emotional needs en route to sexual behaviors that may be normalized and introduced gradually as games or as activities that clearly bring the child desired attention. Some perpetrators use violence or threats to coerce sexual engagement.

In stage 2, the sexual interaction phase, the perpetrator builds on the preliminary grooming of the victim, and the initial sexual involvements escalate, often progressing from exposure and touching to the penetration of one or more orifices.

In stage 3, secrecy, efforts are made to ensure privacy, to reduce the victim’s understanding of the abuser’s accountability, and to set the stage for ongoing sexual activity. The child is made to feel responsible and to understand that revelation would have very bad consequences. This “understanding” involves threats of harm to the child or others. Threats include loss of attachment (because the child will be seen as bad by others or would lose the affection of the perpetrator and others); being told that the child would not be believed; being assured that the child really wanted what was done; being told the child will be rejected by God for not honoring his father, etc. The child often emerges from this brainwashing with profound self-loathing, convinced that he or she is evil, and that any revelation would only confirm his or her badness, and guarantee rejection.

In stage 4, disclosure, the secret gets out, either spontaneously, accidentally, or deliberately. The reaction of concerned others is more likely to be determined by the perpetrator’s role in the family, family loyalty, and shame than by the best interests of the child. Families tend to be most protective of the child when the perpetrator is not a parent or a sibling. Not uncommonly, the family becomes protective and defensive in its anxiety and moves to disavow the severity of the offense and its sequelae and to blame the victim and any authorities or professionals who become involved.

Adopting a shame script of denial toward the acts of the perpetrator, who is defended as “one of their own,” and a shame script of “attack other” toward those seen as shaming the family, the family becomes adversarial toward the victim and involved agencies, authorities, and professionals.16 Reasonable understanding of the world is turned upside down. Good becomes redefined as what is most likely to preserve the good name of the perpetrator and the family. Bad is redefined as what might acknowledge and shine an unfavorable light on what has transpired. The loyalty conflicts in which the victim is placed are terrible and can prove more traumatic than the incest itself.

In stage 5, suppression, the community of concerned individuals within and associated with the family moves to suppress the veracity of the child’s report, minimizing both the severity of the mistreatment and its consequences. The group does not want to deal with the consequences of the ugly truth and are eager to avoid the shame and inconvenience of dealing with agencies and professionals. Individuals may actively try to discredit the child or pressure him to recant accusations.

Summit17 summarized many of the adaptations made by victims of incest in his article “The child sexual abuse accommodation syndrome.” He described the secrecy that surrounded the abuse; the helplessness and powerlessness of the victims; their entrapment in a terrible situation and their accommodation to it; their delayed, conflicted, and unconvincing disclosure of their circumstances; and the likelihood of retraction. With painful irony, their adaptation to the abuse they cannot avoid leads to behaviors that undermine their credibility if they later complain about their circumstances.”

Originally posted 2016-11-17 13:42:01.

Body, Energy, Mind

How to Change Your Frequency to Change Your Reality
Christie Marie Sheldon

“When you change your personal energy frequency you literally start to change your life. Christie Sheldon has personally raised the abundance frequencies of over 25,000 people resulting in hundreds of thousands of dollars in NEW abundance for them. And she’s identified 24 common abundance blocks that are stopping people from enjoying the abundance they deserve. Join our free Masterclass with Christie Sheldon here.

Christie Marie Sheldon is the author of Unlimited Abundance and Love and Above and is one of the world’s leading energy healers and experts on intuition. For more information on these courses and Consciousness Engineering with Christie visit: www.mindvalleyacademy.com

This talk was filmed at Afest, a global non-profit, transformational event that brings together people who are driven to change the world– entrepreneurs, authors, technophiles, mavericks, artists and visionaries alike. Like being at a festival that merges Burning Man, TED and an exotic vacation, you’ll get to dance the night (and day) away at incredible parties, go on breathtaking excursions, form life long friends and connections and learn how to take your life to the next level both personally and professionally. And it all happens in a paradise location. ” (Youtube.com)

Originally posted 2016-06-08 15:56:54.

Mind

The Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse

The Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse leaves many scars, creating feelings of guilt, anger, and fear that haunt survivors throughout their lives. Adults who have undergone sexual abuse as children commonly experience depression and insomnia. High levels of anxiety in these adults can result in self-destructive behaviors, such as alcoholism or drug abuse, anxiety attacks, and situation-specific anxiety disorders.

Originally posted 2016-11-17 13:27:31.

Mind

Childhood Sexual Abuse

Childhood Sexual Abuse: A mental health issue

English PDF | More Fact Sheets Our experiences in childhood play a big part in shaping our health and well-being throughout our lives. Sexual abuse in childhood can leave scars that can last for a long time. But many cases are never reported. Some people feel very scared about reporting abuse.

Great article worth reading…

How does childhood sexual abuse affect adult well-being?

Childhood sexual abuse can have a wide range of effects in adulthood. Some adult survivors experience few mental health problems, while others experience many mental health problems. Abuse is a kind of trauma. Trauma is a situation that’s shocking, intense and distressing. The effects of trauma include a complicated mix of factors, such as:

  • The amount of any kind of trauma you previously experienced
  • The severity of the trauma
  • How close you were to the person who abused you
  • How long the abuse lasted
  • How people you trusted reacted to the abuse, if you told them—did they believe you and support you or dismiss you?10

Here are some of the ways that experiences of childhood sexual abuse can affect well-being:

  • Trust—Abuse may impair your sense that the world is a safe place and impair your ability to trust others. This may be particularly difficult if you had a close relationship with the abuser.11
  • Self-esteem—You may blame yourself for the abuse, even though it isn’t your fault. You may have a hard time feeling good about yourself or hopeful about your future.12
  • Coping with stress—You may have a lot of negative feelings, which may make it hard to cope with everyday stress.12
  • Impulsivity—Impulsivity means acting on urges before thinking through the consequences, which can lead to risky activities.12
  • Anger—You may have a hard time controlling your anger.12
  • Dissociation—With dissociation, your mind “separates” itself from painful events to protect itself. You may have a hard time remembering what happened, feel like the world around you isn’t real or feel like you aren’t connected to your body. It’s a common reaction to pain and fear.13
  • Self-harm—You may harm yourself, but not intend to end your life. It may be a way to cope with difficult thoughts or feelings.14

These are common reactions to trauma. But they can lead to problems when they affect the way you live your life. It’s important to get help if you are having a hard time coping with past trauma.

Other problems linked to childhood sexual abuse include:

  • Mental illness—Experiencing childhood sexual abuse does not mean that you will develop a mental illness, but it is one of many risk factors. People who experience childhood sexual abuse may have a higher risk of experiencing anxiety disorders (such as post-traumatic stress disorder),15 depression,16 eating disorders,16 dissociative disorders17 and personality disorders.18
  • Substance use problems—Survivors of childhood sexual abuse are at greater risk of developing problems with alcohol and other drugs19,20,21 and may be more likely to start using substances at a younger age.22,23,24,25 There may also be a link between your response to childhood sexual abuse (such as depression, low self-esteem or post-traumatic stress disorder) and the risk of experiencing problems with substances.19,21,26 Substances may be a way to cope with difficult experiences.19,21″

 

 

 

Originally posted 2016-11-17 13:03:29.

Gender, Mind

Through a Man’s Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men
Shaunti Feldhahn, Craig Gross

Through a Man's Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men Shaunti Feldhahn, Craig Gross
Through a Man’s Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men Shaunti Feldhahn, Craig Gross

Through a Man’s Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men

This book is great.   Understanding the way men think, as a woman, isn’t easy.   This book allowed me to understand men a little more by tapping into the male brain and learning how it functions.

It helped me respect the differences that sometimes are so hard to understand.

It is critical to not listen to this book with a negative mindset.   Sometimes the more you learn and the more you know can make you over analyze even the simplest situations.   The point of this book is to empower women to simply learn and respect some of the differences that could sometimes frustrate us not to use this against the men in our lives.

In my opinion, men benefit from women understanding them because it can be difficult for men to articulate what they sometimes go through as males.

-Rosemary


“What Happens When Women See What Men See?

You already know that your husband, boyfriend, or son is wired differently from you, but do you know what that really means? It means, among other things, that he’s been given the gift of a unique visual wiring – and the challenges that come with it. In Through a Man’s Eyes, Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Gross team up to help open our eyes to the God-given visual nature of men. They address questions like:

  • “Why are guys so visual – and what does that mean, anyway?”
  • “How do I help my son navigate this sex-crazed culture?”
  • “How dare someone tell a woman to watch what she wears! Isn’t it a man’s responsibility not to look?”
  • “If he’s tempted by visual images, is there something wrong with him? With me?”
  • “My husband is an honorable guy, so why would he be tempted by porn?”
  • “How can I talk to my husband or son about this? What can I do to support him?”

Through the compassion and candor in this audiobook, you can learn what men have long wished the women in their lives knew but didn’t know how to explain – and see the difference this awareness makes.” (audible.com)

Originally posted 2016-06-08 14:48:07.

Declutter, Mind

Uncluttered. Scientists find physical clutter negatively affects your ability to focus, process information
by Erin Doland

Scientists find physical clutter negatively affects your ability to focus, process information by Erin Doland
Scientists find physical clutter negatively affects your ability to focus, process information by Erin Doland

 

https://unclutterer.com/2011/03/29/scientists-find-physical-clutter-negatively-affects-your-ability-to-focus-process-information/

For years, I have re-arranged and cleaned my environment because I not only get bored but I want to free up my mind to produce.   The only way I am able to be productive is to change my environment and to declutter.

I remember my friends at work would be like “Rosey are you changing your desk around again?!” and all I could think was that this is the only way to do it.   Decluttering frees up your mind to be able to focus.   I totally get this and live by this.

When I need to produce, I must change it up.   I need to see a clean and clutter-free environment.

Read the entire article or read what i have captured below by Eric Doland.

-Rosemary

“Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute published the results of a study they conducted in the January issue of The Journal of Neuroscience that relates directly to uncluttered and organized living. From their report “Interactions of Top-Down and Bottom-Up Mechanisms in Human Visual Cortex”:

Multiple stimuli present in the visual field at the same time compete for neural representation by mutually suppressing their evoked activity throughout visual cortex, providing a neural correlate for the limited processing capacity of the visual system.

Or, to paraphrase in non-neuroscience jargon: When your environment is cluttered, the chaos restricts your ability to focus. The clutter also limits your brain’s ability to process information. Clutter makes you distracted and unable to process information as well as you do in an uncluttered, organized, and serene environment.

The clutter competes for your attention in the same way a toddler might stand next to you annoyingly repeating, “candy, candy, candy, candy, I want candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy …” Even though you might be able to focus a little, you’re still aware that a screaming toddler is also vying for your attention. The annoyance also wears down your mental resources and you’re more likely to become frustrated.”

Originally posted 2016-06-07 22:48:10.

Habits, Mind

Forget big change, start with a tiny habit
BJ Fogg at TEDxFremont

What i loved about this was that when I think about changing a habit, I think about this overwhelming feeling of feeling uncomfortable.  Why?  Because I like to be in my comfort zone.  I like to do what is easy as most of us do.

In order to change, as Brendon Burchard says in “The Charge”, we must be okay with what is not easy.    We must be okay with getting uncomfortable.

BJ Fogg does a great TED Talk on starting with a  tiny habit.    He says that if you pretty much do not overwhelm yourself with big changes that you can create small little habits that will lead you to success.   “What if someone told you to floss only one tooth everyday?” he says.   You would probably floss all of them.

Watch this video.   It is worth the 17 minutes.

-Rosemary

Originally posted 2016-06-06 22:43:51.

Mind, The Self

Why Good People Do Bad Things
Debbie Ford

Why Good People Do Bad Things Debbie Ford
Why Good People Do Bad Things Debbie Ford

Why Good People Do Bad Things

I think this is a great book because it is quite interesting how sometimes we believe that we are all good.   Everyone has as Debbie Ford explains in this book a light and dark side.   Understanding this is very important so that people don’t feel they are alone.

I remember buying this book and reading some of it but now that I know there is an audible version, I am totally going to listen to the entire thing.

-Rosemary

Why Good People Do Bad Things exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. The headlines are full of stories of good people gone astray. They show up on the evening news and are splashed across the weekly tabloids.

In many ways, these sad stories have become a national obsession. Yet countless other acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, “good people” do very bad things – often without understanding why.

New York Times best-selling author Debbie Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to live by our values, give and receive love, and be a contributing member of the community; and the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and repeatedly steers us toward bad choices.

Ford begins with an examination of what she calls the Beach-Ball Effect – the way in which suppressed emotions eventually rise to the surface – revealing the origins of self-destructive behavior. By describing the never-ending battle between our light and dark sides and then identifying the signposts for potential disaster, Ford helps us understand how we end up damaging the lives we’ve worked so hard to create. She then breaks new ground by helping us recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, including the People Pleaser, the Victim, the Bully, Mister Cool, and the Jokester. Understanding these masks and what they cover up allows us to go beneath the surface, wake up from denial, and become the person we always intended to be.

With Why Good People Do Bad Things Ford has created her most enduring, expansive, and powerful work to date. Providing the tools to unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the facade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life…” (audible.com)

Originally posted 2016-06-06 21:14:28.

Body, Mind, Sexuality

Kinsey The Movie
Human Sexuality

Since I am fascinated with human behavior and the mind, in college I took a class called Human Sexuality.   This class was very interesting.   The entire class had discussions on the subject and I learned a lot.    In my Human Sexuality text book we studied Alfred Kinsey and so this is why I watched this movie.   If you are interested in watching a great movie, watch this.    This movie may be uncomfortable for some people but I liked it.

-Rosemary

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Kinsey

“Life story of Alfred Kinsey, a man driven to uncover the most private secrets of the nation, and a journey into the mystery of human behavior. In 1948 Kinsey irrevocably changed American culture and created a media sensation with his book “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male”. Using the technique of his own famous sex interviews, story recounts the scientist’s extraordinary journey from obscurity to global fame. Rebelling against the rigid piety of his home life, and drawn to the world of the senses, Kinsey becomes a Harvard-educated zoologist specializing in the study of gall wasps. After being hired to teach biology at Indiana University, Kinsey meets and marries a witty, freethinking female student, Clara McMillen. In the course of his teaching he discovers an astonishing dearth of scientific data on sexual behavior. When students seek him out for advice about sexual concerns and problems, he realizes that no one has done the clinical research that would yield reliable answers to their questions. Inspired to explore the emotionally charged subject of sex from a strictly scientific point of view, Kinsey recruits a team of researchers, including Clyde Martin, Wardell Pomeroy and Paul Gebhard. Over time they refine an interviewing technique, which helps people to break through shame, fear, and guilt and speak freely about their sexual histories. When Kinsey publishes his Male study in 1948, the press compares the impact to that of the atom bomb. But as the country enters the more paranoid Cold War era of the 1950s, Kinsey’s follow-up study on women is seen as an attack on basic American values. The ensuing outrage and scorn causes Kinsey’s benefactors to abandon him, just as his health begins to deteriorate. At the same time, the jealousies and acrimony caused by Kinsey’s attempt to create a private sexual utopia threaten to tear apart the research team and expose them to unwelcome scrutiny.” (Youtube.com)

Originally posted 2016-06-06 19:27:37.

Communication/ Relationships, Mind

The Psychology of Men
Real men don’t talk about their feelings, or do they?
Tyger Latham Psy.D.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/therapy-matters/201104/the-psychology-men 

This is pretty interesting.   Have you ever heard of the term “Alexithymia”?

-Rosemary

“Our profession has a fancy term for men who are unable to identify and speak about their feelings.  It’s called alexithymia.  The term derives from the Greek and literally means “without words for emotions.”  Practically speaking alexithymia captures a group of men who have great difficulty identifying and putting into words what goes on inside of them.  Frequently, I find such men rely heavily on logic and rationality to tackle their personal problems.  While intellect can certainly be helpful in many areas of life (such as the ability to stay cool in a crisis situation), it can also get in the way, particularly in men’s personal relationships.  Often men who depend exclusively on their intellect to address problems end up isolating themselves – paradoxically, at the time when they are most in need of help.”

Originally posted 2016-06-06 00:26:59.

Mind

What is Alexithymia? Definition from Wikipedia

Alexithymia – Wikipedia

Alexithymia is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating. Furthermore, people with alexithymia have difficulty in distinguishing and appreciating the emotions of others, which is thought to lead to unempathic and ineffective emotional responding.