I used to be a people pleaser. I remember years ago I was an Executive Assistant. I was going to school full time and working full time. I was totally an over achiever. I worked hard to make sure everyone was happy. The only problem with making sure that everyone was happy was that I wasn’t making myself happy. I was a doormat in the making. I don’t even know how I became this way. I guess I really liked the recognition that came from pleasing people not realizing how much it was affecting me.
After reading this book I realized that I was doing myself a disservice. I was focusing more on the needs of others before my own needs. This was draining me. The more I pleased people the more they expected from me.
When I realized that I needed to respect what I wanted before the needs of others I slowly but surely stopped working so hard. It was actually more rewarding to focus on me. I gained self respect and valued my time a lot more.
I stopped saying yes to everything. If I didn’t want to do something I said no. If I wanted to do something, I did it. How powerful!
If you focus more on pleasing others and put your needs last, you need to read this book!
“People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say “Yes” when they really want to say “No”. For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use “niceness” and “people-pleasing” as self-defense camouflage.
Featured on NBC’s Today, The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that “people pleasing” is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.
Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle, involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, will cause a dramatic, positive, and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.
As a recovered people pleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.”
Originally posted 2016-06-04 20:28:42.