It isn’t easy to find your “authentic self”. When you have experiences that have hurt you and caused you pain, it is not easy to just forget them. When you were yourself and that wasn’t good enough, you change. You start acting different because you may be trying to protect yourself from that pain you felt in the past.
It takes determination and practice to focus on the self. Life will teach us along the way if we are not being true to ourselves. You will feel forced and it will cause as Dr. Phil says an imbalance.
Now I’m not saying it is easy because I know that in order for me to be true to myself I have to constantly be hyperaware of what i’m feeling and how i’m acting. If I feel uncomfortable in a situation, I need to question whether I want to be there or not.
After being hurt, I created the thickest walls imaginable which helped protect me, at least I thought. It was very hard for me to let anyone in and to trust. I’m still a work in progress but I am very aware of how my thick walls have alienated me at times. I am so thankful to those that are around me that have had patience with me.
Getting to know ourselves and improving areas of our lives that we tend to avoid, is part of our development. It is easy to get distracted with other things when we are trying to ignore or avoid our own weaknesses in certain areas. We can obsess over a hobby or become a workaholic or even create bad habits that help us distract ourselves from our issues. In addition, sometimes we focus so much on other people’s issues so that we don’t focus on our very own issues.
We have to get real good at embracing those areas in our lives where we are weak and need to develop more.
I recognize that when I feel uncomfortable with a situation, I run. I run by making some excuse as to why I don’t want to do something. I even justify my reasoning to avoid it. It is the story I tell myself which is all part of my protection. It is my brains way of saying “you felt pain or got hurt in the past by putting yourself in a situation that was similar so let’s avoid it”. The only problem is that the more we avoid situations where we are uncomfortable, the more underdeveloped we are in those areas.
My goal and my journey is to develop my weak areas. Those areas that I avoid. To not be in denial of my issues and to go head on to improve them.
Join me in this journey if you feel the same.
“Your life has a root core that, once understood, unlocks a powerful force to create the life you want. Key questions and an amazingly clear “map” are now at your fingertips so you can “live by design”.
In this groundbreaking work, Dr. Phil challenges you to find your “authentic self”: that person you have always wanted to be, but were too distracted, busy, or scared to become. Instead, you have created a “fictional self”, taking on the identity of who you believe you are supposed be. The incongruence between these two selves is what leads you to feel that your life is incomplete, unbalanced, and more difficult than it should be.
In Self Matters, Dr. Phil helps you to demystify your self-concept and learn how to reclaim your authentic self. You can learn to think beyond the excuses and fears that have masked the person you want to be. By facing the cards life has dealt you, you can relearn how to best react to them.
Self Matters is one of the most forward-thinking works on self-concept and self-esteem ever published. We get only one chance in this world. Dr. Phil tells us all how to make the most of it.” (audible.com)
Originally posted 2016-06-11 18:56:20.